writing experiment 2 (version 2.0)
what is a UTI?
please keep this page for your reference
ports and jack are behind this door
we can go the party
so i need to be put to sleep
im a real live wire
i use a toothbrush and a comb
but i gotta wash my balls first
he had his first drink
selected as americas best in 1893
think about the holocaust
until santa shows up
shop til you drop
when life gets you down
the blue ribbon keeps me goin
you never know when you'll be stuck in the jungle
the elegant universe
has hairy armpits too
universal theories incorporated
no thats fine
whatever mans
what is a UTI?
please keep this page for your reference
ports and jack are behind this door
we can go the party
so i need to be put to sleep
im a real live wire
i use a toothbrush and a comb
but i gotta wash my balls first
he had his first drink
selected as americas best in 1893
think about the holocaust
until santa shows up
shop til you drop
when life gets you down
the blue ribbon keeps me goin
you never know when you'll be stuck in the jungle
the elegant universe
has hairy armpits too
universal theories incorporated
no thats fine
whatever mans
posted by buxton at
12:10 PM
1 Comments:
some of this is pretty great. I'm really blown back by the way you're able to relate meaningfully the seemingly mundane and officious "ports and jacks are behind the door" with the counter-current punk-pop of a Talking Heads lyric. Not far after that however, the poems uxtapositions seem a wee bit scattered. It strikes me as seeing a poem's whose got al the right lines in all the wrong places (well, not ALL the wrong places). I'd recommend, for the sake of further experiment and revision excercise, differeing rearrangements of your lines/stanzas. You might at first try a free-write and slesct your own deliberate rearrangement. You might also try more chance- or constraint-based operations to help redevelop the text. For instance, record every THIRD line until all have been exhausted, or write each line onto a small strip of paper, place all your strips into a hat and draw them out randomly (this was a favourite compositional game of the Dadaists, though they often chopped up the poem not by line but by word before shaking the hat - if you like the idea of chance or constraint based poems, you might also look into the OULIPO, a french writing collective with some mind-blowing ideas/theories). You could number each line and then find an online random number generator to dictate which line will be transcribed next (and include ALL repetitions until each line has been used at least once). You get the gist. see what happens.
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