new overheard stuffs...

Office thug #1: Yo, Windows is like mad retarded!
Office thug #2: Say what?
Office thug #1: I said Windows is bullshit man.
Office thug #2: Man, I been telling you that shit for years. My G5 is way better than whatever computer you got.
Office thug #1: Nigga, my laptop has AIDS!

Customer: I'll take four glazed and you pick the others.
Donut guy: So, fill up the rest with stale ones?

Guy #1: We could go by Mike's
Guy #2: Which Mike? Fun Mike or Shitty Mike?
Guy #1: I always forget which one is which with you.
Guy #1: Fun Mike always pays for everything... Shitty Mike always has no money and throws up.
Guy #2: You'd think I could keep that straight.


Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model?
Metro Guy: It's cranberry and...
Cop: Cranberry's something you eat, son, your car was red.

Girl #1: My worst fear is falling on a picket fence or getting eaten by a shark.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, well my worst fear is someone pushing me forward onto a blackboard and having my teeth scrape down the front. That would be awful.