new overheard stuffs...

Office thug #1: Yo, Windows is like mad retarded!
Office thug #2: Say what?
Office thug #1: I said Windows is bullshit man.
Office thug #2: Man, I been telling you that shit for years. My G5 is way better than whatever computer you got.
Office thug #1: Nigga, my laptop has AIDS!

Customer: I'll take four glazed and you pick the others.
Donut guy: So, fill up the rest with stale ones?

Guy #1: We could go by Mike's
Guy #2: Which Mike? Fun Mike or Shitty Mike?
Guy #1: I always forget which one is which with you.
Guy #1: Fun Mike always pays for everything... Shitty Mike always has no money and throws up.
Guy #2: You'd think I could keep that straight.


Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model?
Metro Guy: It's cranberry and...
Cop: Cranberry's something you eat, son, your car was red.

Girl #1: My worst fear is falling on a picket fence or getting eaten by a shark.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, well my worst fear is someone pushing me forward onto a blackboard and having my teeth scrape down the front. That would be awful.

writing experiment number 6

or

an autobiography written by silence

all is silent with the exception of labored breathing
and thunderous appluase from the mighty zeus

and BAM!!!

out pops a screaming child
born into the world screaming in silence
and asleep within moments
sleeping the sleep of lions fed

in silence the music grows
ten years since the day
and a soft tune that reminds the crowd
of necessary moments of silence
when the calamity was too great to bear
and moments of blaring triumph
when the mundane silences where to loud hear

the guitar came in first with sweeping and subtle melody
to warm its listeners like hot apple cider on a cool falls day

then the bass slinks in at frequencies so low and sparse
its impossible to imagine what that bass had in mind

the rhythm of bongos and cymbals in the distance
signal the oncoming war, the oncoming music of eternity

and ever so gently the mandolin sweeps in
like a lonesome breeze across the back of a sweltering neck

in the scalding desert where stagnant air and silence is king
the music grows when the silence is patient
and the cacaphony waits for its moment to strike
like lightning that touches down but once
and never again

writing experiment number 4

or...

baxter buxton buglers rise to complete control of the universe and inevitable fall from grace that leads to end of the world as predicted by the mayan calander, as charted throughout the year

1/1/2011
3:34 am

baxter buxton bugler, better known as 3b to his compatriots, drinks himself beyond previously known limits of the human body. 3b attempts to walk on water, despite his inebriated state and inability to walk on naturally solid ground, and succeeds due to his unwavering beleif in himself and the universe. onlookers are so amazed by his abilities that they establish a cult of based around the teachings of an inebiated 3b, otherwise known as beinism.

1/17/2011

3b ceases all sober thought and begins preaching from atop the backs of his followers in any public place that wont arrest him.

2/13/2034

as beinism begins to take hold of national conciousness (or lake thereof) people begin drinking to momumental proportions in an attempt to recreate the universal oneness that 3b experienced. buddhists stop meditation and begin slamming jeigermeister. preists stop raping little boys and start raping everything they see instead. buisnessmen lose their jobs and students are kicked out of school across the country....


to be continued...